On April 16th at 4AM, I heard the call I was waiting for, "Lonehill, get ready! Marshalls are coming to get you." I was hauled downstairs with two others and we rode across the state with seven other guys. We were shackled for the whole ride. OMG I cannot explain how humiliating it is to stop midway, via the ride and go into a convenience store shackled to pee. People look at me like I'm Dahmer, but
hey, I had to pee.
That's what I have to face, I'm a criminal now. I gave up hope of the F.B.I. going after the people who received or took the moolah long ago. I resigned to the fact that I was going down like a drunk cheerleader for this. And I did. I just gave up. I didn't fight it when my lawyer suggested I take it to trial. I didn't want to put my time and freedom in the hands of twelve South Dakotan jurors who clearly wouldn't be my peers. Plus I knew there would be local media coverage at the same time my sons were at the prime of their high school sports season. So I gave up the fight before I started and pleaded.
Battey (the judge) hung me, but I'm alright. This is the slap in the face I needed. I lost 32lbs so far (woot!) I will be well brand-used lol. No I will be brand new when I get out. Single, sober and hopefully successfully published. I made the choice to keep writing because this is the only vice I have to get me through it.
I told my son tonight i will be sober when I get out but I will still smoke my menthol's. He was all like "You don't smoke." So I said "Oh yeah, but I will." He said "why?" I said "When people quit drinking they join AA and smoke." Anyway, I'm now in Sioux Falls, SD. I don't know when I will be flying to Oklahoma but it will be soon so I will post an address then. From now on I can't receive stamps. Thanks everyone who wrote. I love you guys. I'll keep writing and let you know how it is on the inside, writing with bruised wrists.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
The dream is at it's demise
As lashes start to flutter
Eyes now open wide
Lying still in a warm slumber
Winter is set on the window pane
Brushed strokes of frosty art
Darkness of dusk lingers and remains
Stillness accepts the beat of a lonely heart
Time lingers, stretching on
I watch for the faintest of blue
in the earliest signs of dawn
Like frost as it secedes to dew
Then I see the bluest of faint
Hidden at the edge of the horizon
All that is alive in the moon's fate
Here we watch, waiting on the sun
When I wrote this poem, I didn't realize how cloudy it was. The sun slipped by incongnito. Damn that sun!