Friday, August 31, 2007

Afternoon Nap

I was floating, like flying. I was going faster, like something was pulling me. I could see the tops of the roofs in all different shades of brick-- buildings. I wanted to be on them, so I floated down and began to run over them, like free running, thats when I noticed I was barefoot. Then I knew, had I had shoes on, I wouldn't be able to fly. The buildings began to get smaller, so I floated up again and changed direction. I saw an empty lot and knew that was my destination. This is where I came down. Still barefoot, in a strange city, quickly I began to read signs and take in the sights and sounds. I didn't even know if they spoke English here. Lyle's Deli, Moretti's Pizza, Chimes Clock and Watch shop, some sort of pawn shop, I couldn't make it out.. There was also an old theater that was converted into like a cine-plex. The sign was lit up, red and white, featuring matinees. People were rushing all over. I felt so alone, with no shoes. There was some delivery men outside of a used furniture shop hauling stuff in, glaring at me. A lady waved me over from inside of the shop. She asked me what I was doing and showed me the section where they had used clothing. The only shoes that fit were some funky, metallic, gold sandals, but I gladly put them on. I told her I was here to search for my mom and son. Which I knew was true, but did not know it till the moment I spoke these words. She hurriedly gave me a small wallet and told me to go get something to eat. I told her thanks and I will be back to pay her back and left....I walked out, in bright sunlight, and looked around to decide which direction to go....

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! "OPEN THE DOOR!" It was my mother in law at the door, drunk, screaming around. The most vivid and detailed dream I had in... forever and she ruined it. I didn't open the door for her that day.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

My princess

The above pic is a field north of PoDunk.

My weekend was spent ho hum. I drank on Friday night at PoDunks' finest. I will be going home to the rez in a week and my summer vacation at this resort is done.

Saturday I made my Grandma Erna's famous potato soup...I even blogged it on the food blog. You can go here to see how some of us recipe share and if you want to be a member of our cooking club send the page an email...or ask Missy Angel.

Here is a picture I took of my sweet daughter.


I remember having a daughter after 3 boys, I was like YEAH now I can buy cute clothes and PINK stuff. bows, ribbons, and lace! This is what god blessed me with.


She is wearing all black!

And my princess has a tattoo.


So sweet, really...what an angel.


As you can see, I won't be having ANY problems with her when she is 13.

I was a raging bitch at 13 and the whole world was against me. I am so glad I have a sweet little 3 year old with NO attitude at all whatsoever.

Now excuse me while I go pray to Oh My God!!

Friday, August 24, 2007

Defiant? Yes!

"It is a heroic, some might say unfathomable, act of defiance." That is what Paul Harris of The Observer said of the Oglala Lakota Sioux.

As I moved back I understand and learn more and more.

According to our creation stories...All our people come from the Black Hills. Not just the Oglala Lakota, but all Lakota people come from the Black Hills. I'm not getting into the creation story because I am not about to get attacked for my beliefs. But that is why we have such a strong spiritual connection with The Black Hills...or the Paha Sapa.

The U.S. government initially tried to prevent settlement of the Black Hills, having signed the 1851 Treaty of Ft. Laramie, which promised 60 million acres of the Black Hills “for the absolute and undisturbed use and occupancy of the Sioux.” Settlers knew not to try and settle in the Black Hills because so many ceremonies and vision quests happened.

Then a rumor started that there was gold in them thar hills.

The government began building posts on and around Indian land to protect the invading settlers and another treaty was drawn up in 1868. The 1868 Ft. Laramie Treaty. This reduced the Lakota land base to 20 million acres in the Black Hills.

In 1874 General Custer was sent into the Black Hills with miners, a direct violation of the 1868 Treaty.

When the Lakota refused to sell the remaining 20 million acres it was taken away in the 44th Act of Congress in 1877. Custer had already died a year earlier at the Battle of Little Big Horn.

This is where people get confused. In the 70's a federal judge reviewed the case and said “A more ripe and rank case of dishonorable dealing will never, in all probability, be found in our history.”

After a century of struggle to file claims in court against the illegality of the 1868 treaty, the Indian Claims Commission, the Court of Claims, and finally the Supreme Court in 1980 recognized the 8 Lakota Nations' rights to the part of the Black Hills specified in the1868 treaty. But instead of ordering the government to return the land, the Claims Commission awarded a financial sum equal to the land’s value in 1877 plus interest. This sum now totals $570 million—a considerable amount but still much smaller than the value of the natural resources which have been extracted from the Black Hills, estimated at $4 billion.

Now this is where I come in...I want to let you know...many of what you read above came from this wonderful website.

This is what I am trying to make my little brothers, sisters, and my children understand.

We don't want the money. Never will we take that money. It sits building double compound interest and the 8 Lakota tribes will never take it. It's not a matter of money. The Black Hills are sacred. And never were for sale. It's the principle of it all.

Yes, the 8 Lakota nations live below the poverty line. Probably my tribe and the Rosebud tribe at the lowest, yet we won't take the money. Because that's just how it is. The possibilty of the Black Hills being returned to us is ZERO...but that land was never for sale in the first place. To take the money would give someone the right to say they owned it, even though they own it now...they all own it illegally.

I even refuse to wear gold. Especially that tacky Black Hills gold. it an "unfathomable act of defiance?"

Sure...and I am damn proud of it. My children better be the same way.

Here I am preaching and trying to make my younger siblings and kids see the light, just the same as my stepfather did to me. I have no doubt they will see the light someday.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

cool beans

The article from The Observer Magazine is here to read.

Bob is my dad, Jerry is his best friend and my moms brother, and Jeaneen is my mom.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Ferris Bueller Complex


Main Entry: Fer·ris Bue ller Com·plex

Pronunciation: 'fer-&s- 'bue-llr 'käm-"pleks

Function: noun

(1) : a group of repressed desires and memories that exerts a dominating influence upon the personality usually relating to the sibling rivalry demonstrated in the film "Ferris Bueller's Day Off",1986. (2) : an exaggerated reaction to a subject or situation which can include some or all of the following, sibling rivalry, jealousy, envy, greed, ass kicking, or the fact that some people just get away with everything! Everything!

I have spoken of this before. I have not been officially diagnosed with it yet. I know I have it though. This is hard for me to speak of so bear with me. The movie was released in 1986 and I loved it. Then I started to wonder, why? Yes it was funny, but the similarities were there. I couldn't deny it. I could write a book about this, instead of that dysfunctional drama...I will give you a few examples. Mom, if you are reading this, some of these stories, you may have heard for the first time, so...sorry. Whatever, he still would have charmed his way out of it.Image


Every school he ever enrolled in the principal hated him, my mom said they were idiots who didn't know how to run a school.

Almost every school I was on student council and honor roll...dam preppie, trav says, everyone laughs. (I laugh now.)

Elementary school awards ceremony:

Dana-Good Citizenship, Outstanding in Reading, Outstanding in Math, Outstanding in Creative Writing, Student of the Year. (not all of them all year long but gradually I built them up...every semester.)

Travis- Good Citizenship, Sunshine Award for Good Behavior (a certificate and a one time deal) My mom still probably has them somewhere in secure storage, bank vault and dusts them off seasonally.

OK those are the comparisons, I have more but I want to give a few examples of our youth that brought on this horrid complex:


*Unlike Ferris, he had a car, which he bought on his own and was well deserved, thats another story. He had a 1970 VW bug, which I had to ride with him to school everyday and be late. The bug was souped up and well if any of you ever rode in one of those from the 7o's, you know how it is. I used to be late for Algebra everyday and my friend Tim would say "what kind of perfume is that regular or unleaded?" EVERYDAY! The one day I didn't ride with him he rolled it, landed on his wheels and drove off the hayfield and on to school. He pulled into the Auto's classroom where all the grease monkeys gathered around and fixed his car, so mom wouldn't know until later. He did this with a broken leg, what I mean is his leg was broke before he rolled his car.

*I had a curfew.

*We once switched chores, I cleaned his living room. Then I got in trouble for thinking he could do dishes and had to do both. He would peek in and laugh at me.

*We once locked ourselves out of the house on a hot summer day. HOT. The only way in was the window, he gave me his pocket knife to cut the screen (apparently we didn't know screens came out of the window) My mom pulled up as I was cutting, I got punished, he pleaded the 5th.

*He used to steal the family truckster (the van) Everytime the folks went to the city to shop. He would joyride around with about 20 hoodlums and pull in minutes before she got back. They never thought to feel the engine and I never told. I know thats kind of weird and protective like Jeannie (Jennifer Grey,) but I wanted him to get caught on his own.

*Our last knock down drag out fight, I literally ended up outside. I kicked him where it matters and got so scared I ran outside. Of course he locked all the doors and windows. Oh and I was barefoot. When my mom gets home and we tell both our versions, "Are you ok Trav?" (Forgot to mention it was wintertime, and I could have gotten frostbite!)

*He used to sneak out the window at night, window....with a ladder. Dana was punished again.


Like Jeannie, I used to be attracted to no good, loser hoodlums. (thank god I am over that, though they never looked like Charlie Sheen!)

Like Jeannie, I was spiteful, jealous, and competitive.

Like Jeannie, I probably wouldn't have given him a ride.

Like Jeannie I would have kicked Ed Rooney's ass for my brother (remember that kid Ryan, Trav)

So these are a few of the trials and tribulations that brought on my complex. I have seen others with this complex,....Monica Gellar,....Carol Seaver....sadly they are fictional too. See what this complex does to you. Surely, if they can make a pill for restless legs, they can make one for the Ferris Bueller Complex. (Pfizer?....Pfizer?....Pfixer?)


Love you little brother!

*Disclaimer: Some of the events in the above story may have been altered for entertainment purposes, and/or not to incriminate any of the above.*

Thursday, August 9, 2007

My apologies to Oprah

Oh Oprah...I have criticized you in the past...mainly for giving advice on parenting....when you have no kids.

And marriage...when you are not.

And heartbreak...when you are happy.

And life, dieting, dress, make-up, pets...everything under the moon you know about. Shit, you probably know if a cow really jumped over the moon.

Anyway I apologize for my critique in the past of your life.

I mean...I can't hold it against you that you know EVERYTHING!

I mean...


For real real, if I had a handsome man like yours....why marry him? He ain't goin nowhere.

Not when you have a gaboobazillion dollars.

Shoot it must be easy to tell people how to diet, eat right, and exercise...when you have your own personal chef, personal trainer, and life coach. Can't forget the golden Nikes.

Must be easy to tell people that if you feel good on the look great....especially when you have your own stylist, hair stylist and make-up artist.

And the way your yappy little pups have their own nanny...can't be much different than kids. Go and tell people how to raise their kids!

Tell us to have self esteem like you. I mean after all your magazine has been going for well over 5 years and not one other person has ever been on the

Life has got to be good and easy when you have a gaboobazillion dollars. So go on with your bad self...tell us how to live it to the fullest.

Just can't guarantee I will listen.

Cuz I got like twenty bucks.

Monday, August 6, 2007


i haven't been around or online as much...i will be back
soon as i figure out who i am

Friday, August 3, 2007


Wow...I was so busy I didn't even take any pics of the looks like Ami from Miami Ink, that's the photgrapher and the other looked like Hugh Grant sorta, but maybe I am just thinking that because Hugh Grant is British. Anyway...what a great time.

They will be coming back in September to attend a Thanksgiving Ceremony my dad is having for the Thunder Spirits. (Don't ask for an explaination, I know Thanksgiving is in November and it is not the same.) They will not be coming back as "media" but as friends.

So the furst day was too late to do anything. I made them a meal of Indian tacos (even though they are health freaks they ate it...poor guys.) They said it was delicious and I gave them the beaded medicine pouches I made them. They were thoroughly surprised...but that is the Lakota way.

We went for a cruise through Pine Ridge and the border town of Whiteclay.

The next day they came after me at 9am.

1st stop was Wounded Knee where the mass grave is located from the Massacre. We talked in depth of our feeling about Wounded Knee, the massacre of 1890 and the stand-off with the government of 1971. We talked of our feelings as an Indian today, and as an American. I won't say what was discussed too much because well it's Paul's story, not mine.

We picked up my uncle and rode out to find my dad. My dad took them out to the prayer grounds and we all sat in the ht hot sun while they interviewed my dad and took pictures of him, his tattoos and so on. After that we rode back to my dad's little trailer and garage where he showed them his Harley. He also got to pose on the Harley.

Afterwards we went driving around the rez and then it was my turn and my uncles turn to pose. I had to sit in front of a haystack. OMG! Like I just randomly sit in front of haystacks! (Honest, it was the first time I had hay in my hair! ;) But this photographer is awesome. You can see his work on I ended up going back home at about 7pm and I was tired.

After 10 hours of sleep, I was ready for the next day. It was just I and the two Brits. We drove to Fort Robinson in Nebraska because one of our interviews with a Viet Nam Vet had already disappeared on us for the day. In Fort Robinson we looked at the marker where Chief Crazy Horse was killed. I don't want to talk too much of it, because like I said it is Paul's story but I was very disappointed. Afterwards they got to meet my mom and family.

After that was pics at home with my rugrats. Of course they didn't clean or comb their hair, but oh well.

I had an amazing time with Paul Harris and Robert Yager of The Observer Magazine. I was surprised at how many things I said and he was like "Oh yes, I read that in one of your blogs."

Paul flew back to New York today. Robert was at our Pow Wow last night, charming the socks off of people. I just went by to make sure he was ok. He'll be alright. He flies back to L.A. tomorrow.

Wonderful men, great sense of humor they have, crazy ass "Gone in 60 Second" driving, and some great conversation.

I will link it when it comes out.