Thursday, April 16, 2009

Balloons {Shudder}}


I must explain this.

Last summer I invited these interns from the museum to my brother Dirty Steve's birthday party at the 20 bar (best bar ever) in PoDunk. i was trying to look all cool and shit bcause these are chicks that are like almost 20 years younger than me, going to college for some artsy degree that I always think shoulda woulda and coulda about and they are all standing around listening to my words of wisdom that only life experience can give you along with silver hair, when something lightly brushes my shoulder. I't a balloon, a yellow fuckin latex balloon!

I jump and karate chop at it but fail to hit it so I do my best Chuck Norris kick and it flies across the room where some tractor ass chick sits on it and it POPS! I shudder slightly but thank the balloon god it didn't pop by me.

I hate balloons!

I am not sure if it started at my 4th birthday party when one popped by my ear or I don't know if anyone remembers A&W root beer drive in's But when we used to go this dude in a bear costume (root bear) would come out and give us this hard candy that we would choke on later and a balloon. As soon as I seen that muhfugger coming iwould try to make myself as lttle as possible in the back seat and scream my head off. I wonder if he has guilt issues with his thereapist to this day for scaring the crap out of me and giving me a lifetime fear....bastard.

So yeah I think that may be why. I feel better getting this all out, maybe there is a break through in my blogtherapy here.


JJ said...

So, how do you feel about soap

schema said...

I think the A&W guy probably enjoyed it a lot. He is probably a serial killer now.

Goose Creek Indian Reserve said...

I bet clowns terrify you too!

Last Minute Lyn said...

I'm afraid of clowns

Dana Dane said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dana Dane said...

amazingly clowns do Not scare me

however monekys or primates do especially the flying kind, any sort of rodent, and high wind velocity