Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Corn Nut Breath

People never know how their breath smells.

One guy that sells me stuff always has listerine breath to cover the malt liquor I smell underneath it.

My co worker has breath like french onion sun chips because she eats them ALL the time.

I hated teachers that had breath like coffee and shit. I wouldn't ask for their help.

My kids at the moment have taco breath.

Today something funny happened to me. As much as I think anything other than minty gum does not smell good coming from someone else's mouth, like beer, onions, cheese....ugh....anyway I was at the grocery store with my son Jalen. We bought a bag of corn nuts at the last minute for our ride. We went to the next grocery store in town because I, of course forgot something. I have to leave the car running because my son is in the car eating corn nuts. I ate a few. I also have to leave my car running until final destination because....well thats another story.


I went to the expresss lane. This lady 4 people in front of me has one of those little baskets for your shopping convenience. She has it stuffed with about 27 little items. I sigh.

Why don't the cashier kick her off? Just because her basket is little? I never take more than the standard 6 items through....hardly ever.

I sigh again.

All of a sudden the dude in front of me says save my spot and looks fastly and furiously around the store. I watch hims search the ends of the aisles until he finds his prize.

Two bags of corn nuts.

For some reason he comes back, happy and smiling. I was craving these so bad all of a sudden.

I smile at him with my mouth closed and quit sighing.

I still think, how the hell can someone having corn nut breath make you hungry?


1 comment:

Mike S said...

In Japan it was easy to spot the kids on the train who had been chomping dried cuttlefish or some shrimp flavored chips. They were sitting alone with empty seats between them and the standing passengers. Both items taste good and make great snacks, just be sure to eat them only around others who are also munching them. No breath I've ever smelled is worse.