Saturday, July 30, 2011
Wellbriety Freakin Rocks, but this whole day rocked!
I had to sit and write about my AMAZING day before I drift off to dreamland.
It started off with me waking up happy as hell because one of my good friends is free today. He left the halfway house in another city at 8am this morning, and I woke up happy thinking, fuck yeah, I know how that feels. No one over you anymore know that they are over you. So I tagged him on facebook with Godsmack's Alive.
Awesomeness. You have no idea how freedom feels, how it is such a want. When you are locked up the want and need for freedom is so bad, it is like a hunger or thirst. I thank Tunkasila another Lakota was released today! (A couple of leelees if I see you.)
Then I kind of freaked out because my ex messaged me today. We talked. He's the one I married. I told him he was still my friend, no matter what and I wished he would sober up because I hate hearing about him going around town drunk and beat up.
He said he has nothing left in life anymore. Nothing and that's why he drinks. I said Are you kidding all those songs you spent years gathering from the elders, visiting them, taking them blankets and tobacco so you can learn the old songs, all the spiritual songs you have. You have more in your heart with those old ways than some people spend a lifetime trying to get, don't say you have nothing. You are lost, you need to find yourself because I sure don't want to be going to your funeral next. He said Thanks, he was on his way to a pow wow to sing. I asked him to sing from his heart. He told me thanks again for saying what I did and I wished him luck. He was with one of his sober friends, so I guess maybe he was going to a pow wow. I wish him the best.
The next thing is I made a sale and my sons made more money than me today, that was cool as hell. I was walking around with my two oldest then we decided to split ways so they could explore the city, I walked along the river that runs through this city.
I saw the river and decided to sit by the river for awhile and ponder. I was texting one of my best friends the whole time, I must say it feels good to have him back in my life too. We are hoping and praying (well I might be the only one praying) to go to the Yankee/Twins game together. That pic above is from sitting by the river while texting.
After than I walked to the store, got cold chicken and coleslaw for supper because I knew I wasn't gonna cook. I think when I walked into the store it was maybe 95 degrees, when I walked out it was 118 degrees. This old lady in a huge van asked if I wanted a ride, I thought for a millisecond about all the vans like that on Law & Order SVU, then said sure. It was really hot. I live 3 blocks uphill so it wasn't that far for her to pick up speed as someone might chloroform me from the back seat, I had mayday ready to text but she took me home. When I got out I looked back because I knew I heard breathing.
There was not one but three large 80 plus pound dogs in the back on a mattress. Whoa! Ha Ha, that was a surprise. Oh yeah and she talked about the book of Revelations on the way back and Mayans and whatnot. Nice old lady and three ginormous jomonstrous doggies.
Next I get ready for Wellbriety, still texting bff, and then I am off.
I get to Wellbriety and as I get there I get an email from my old boss, whom I attempted to make ammends with about two weeks ago, fingers crossed the whole time. It went through, The feds, of course never gave him my apology letter they probably peed on it and laughed. I was able to get it out and have him forgive me and my heart is so much lighter. It was such a HUGE step in my recovery process.
Next I saw someone from home, who was also just released from prison. Someone who was new to this town and I went to school with all my life. Sometimes a familiar face is all someone needs. I sure would have appreciated it. I was able to give encouragement, straight from my heart and he thanked me.
Everything and everyone I interacted with today had a purpose.
Including my brothers comment on facebook about my post on Wellbriety.
"Anything that helps my sis over come the bullshit this world drops all day. each and every day. love u sis."
This comment from Mike
"Dana...you know you're on the right track for YOU when you start looking forward to such gatherings and attending all things sober. The heart and head may be messed up to the max, but still easier to cope and grow when sober. You get to make decisions that you can appreciate later, unlike most decisions made when high."
Then this text with my one of my bff's Ron
"Awesome, seems like you're having fun. And that's what matters."
And I will end my great beautiful awesome lovely wonderful day there!!!!