What? I'm an engine now?

So many times in my life, I have dealt with with alcohol.
Like my grandma died or when anyone died, I drank and tried to remember them in a good way.
Holidays, almost every feeling, whether good or bad, I had-was dealt with inebriated.
I saw the world as maybe an artist from the Impressionism Era you know-no clear lines.
Which is crazy, that's how I paint. I always wonder if maybe they were near sighted back then, but it can't be that, the details in all the colors are there.
I got used to letting the brandy go down my throat in order to cope.
Now my life is different.
Now I deal.
And cope.
Without.
And it's not easy.
And I am not doing it this way to prove a point to anyone. All I am doing is proving to myself I can do this.
And I think I can.
I think I can.
I think I can.