Saturday, June 2, 2007

Explained Absence

I haven't been blogging much lately. You all know I blog alot.
I think I am fading out. I don't have very much readers. I know one person cannot comment out of fear of the fact that her family will find her and read her inner most private thoughts and be offended. I know another person that told me she misses me in an email. And then I got an email from this guy who just now found me and used to read me on 360. That was cool.
Anyway, let me explain what I have been up to.
My dad is having a ceremony on Sunday. Tomorrow already. My dad is a heyoka, or as he called it a "contrary" in the white language. He has been this way for all his life. Having dreams of thunder beings and lightning. The spirits talk to him. This is his second year having a Kettle Dance Ceremony.
I can't explain it much, because I am not sure what it is. Except that it is a healing ceremony.
So, anyway for the past week, my brother and husband and I having been going to see him and help him with whatever he needs.
Tomorrow is the big day. I have to get up early and make bread.
Yesterday evening, we sat in a tipi and talked to my dad for over 3 hours as the sunset. He seemed so happy to have us there, he was joking and saying "Are you guys really here?"
One of the last things he said to us before we left was about Chief Crazy Horse. He told us of an old song that translated to "When you see the Black Hills think of me." He told us about how sad this song is. The Black Hills were taken from us for gold and here we sit on this reservation with nothing. We are a suffering people because they illegally took our land. We are the ones that should be benefitting off the Black Hills. Living up there and having riches. But we sit on this reservation, with nothing. That is why Chief Crazy Horse said "When you see the Black Hills think of me." After his death, we were forced on this reservation and today the people suffer.
I couldn't get that out of my head. I watched almost all of Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee. HBO is showing it all month, if you haven't seen it I recommend it. That is my people.
I don't know when I will post again, but it will be soon.
Ake (again)
Dana

27 comments:

Josie Two Shoes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Josie Two Shoes said...

What a wonderful memory to share with your father! I hope all goes well with the ceremony. If permitted, come back and tell us it's meaning.

I can so understand the incredible sadness you must feel in regard to the Black Hills. Every time I look at those damn faces carved there - so symbolic of white arrogance and oppression - I want to puke. That mountain was much more beautiful the way the Creator made it.

But life is what it is, and we can only go forward.

I understand about the writing, and the reading, though I'm betting you have more readers than you realize. We write for ourselves, but still, feedback is nice. It just takes a minute to say "I was here and I read this".
Just know that I will always be checking, so when the mood strikes you to add something new I'll find it. Keep working on your book!

May God bless you and yours always.

Josie Two Shoes said...

Oops, I posted that twice, so deleted the first one. :-)

Daisy said...

When you think you don't have readers, remember there are 5 lurkers for every commenter! (I made that statistic up, btw)

I love hearing the stories about your family and how in-tune they are with the old ways. I drove through the Black Hills one time, and I thought they were beautiful, but I never could shake the sad feeling I got. It seemed like all the tourist traps and the attractions should've made me happy, but I felt kinda blah the whole time we were there.

I wish your people were wearing the gold and peddling your wares to the hordes of travelers rather than barely scraping by... It just isn't right...

Missy A said...

Daisy is right made up or not for every comment theres are at least 5 readers, even if it the same person back reading others comments
Thing is you should blog for you, not for popularity or fame and definatly no fortune unless people pay you in beads of course...
No one is holding a gun to your head telling you that you must post (except the paper)

Oh and your dad is getting healed? whatever for? That would be cool to be able to talk to the spirts unless of course they won't shut the F up of course now that would be annoying

Dana Dane said...

a healing ceremony is not exactly to get healed, he is the one performing it,
and you know i write for me not to be read, it's just that i really feel i don't have it in me to write anymore....maybe it is just something i am going through
if i really wanted to write for popularity i would be on 360, you know that
i am just going through something with my writing where i feel it is fading in me, you should see all my drafted posts...oo many

Josie Two Shoes said...

So maybe you just need a break, where you don't feel under your own pressure to write. Creativity ebbs and flows, and a writer will always come back to it sooner or later. Send me some of the frybread! :-)

Anonymous said...

Well, I miss you like crazy. Not commenting has been like giving up some sick drug. Combine that with you not posting very much, and I feel like I'm being punished.

My sister pulled down her spot on 360 in true dramatic fashion. Our relationship isn't the same. I don't know when or if it ever will be, but it seems like this new situation has allowed her to quit trying to be a normal human being. It's just lovely. My favorite part about the entire situation, is that she's still stuck on herself, and has not even started looking at what the impact of her behavior was on me and my daughter. Until that happens, I'm not sure things can get better...

Just as I was getting my grove back to blogging, I feel like my space was violated. Now I'm trying really hard to over come it. Like now, in this mini blomment...

Oh Dana, don't stop writing. I know you can't. I'm quite certain you know you can't also. If time is what you need, take it. But we're always here, like it or not...Mwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

chicken! lol, i love you i won't stop writing i just feel like i can't maybe it's all the honeymooning messing with me...look i am anon too!

Anonymous said...

Hey this way there's no links! I'm using my thinker!

me said...

wait up...who is that? who am i?

Who am I? said...

Who are you? Who are we all? Isn't that the big question in life? We're not even here. You're not here, I'm not here, and this isn't even happening right now...

Josie Two Shoes said...

Too funny! And really nice to see Anonymous back to commenting! :-)

Anonymous said...

leave me alone, you guys are freaking me out? who are you people?

JohnB said...

Hi Dana...I just recently switched my comments off as well indefinitely. Part of me would like to see if my writing shifts in flavor as a result. Although, "curiosity often killed the" yes?

Anonymous said...

How are we freakin' you out? We don't even know who you are...

anonymiss said...

**wink**
lizards
http://www.infobonaire.com/lizardinn/images/iguana_animation.gif
and cats
http://www.animationplayhouse.com/blackand_white_cat.gif

Anonymous said...

who's freakin who out?

Dorid said...

You know if you have one comment for every five readers, you're doing pretty good. I've been running statistics on my blog, and I'm averaging one comment for every 84 readers on blogspot.

Dana, I know sometimes that when life is full, there just isn't the urge to blog. THere you are, home again, newly married, perhaps life is just filling you up so much that you don't need to write. Take some time. Enjoy your newly recovered life. We're all here reading when you're ready, and celebrating with you even when you aren't.

Janet H said...

I think your father is very lucky to have his family there supporting him during his ceremony, and I think it's great that your relationship is in a place where you can do that for him.

As for blogging, it does have its ups and downs and lulls, as I'm finding myself. But when you find your way back to it, we'll be here waiting to read what you have to say, as always.

Karin said...

Janet put you on her feeds on 360! YAY! I needed that. You know what else I need? I think I would like to sit in a tipi for three hours and talk to people I care about. I am going to try to come here more now that Janet has you listed, and I will keep my eyes out for a new post. I haven't been writing much myself on my blog -- lots and lots going on in my mind, but not for blogging. *HUG* to you & see you again soon.

Anonymous said...

I love blogs...you get to learn so much about peoples true thoughts...and some idiots don't know that it is public.

DeeAnne said...

I lurk around here....i don't often comment just because I dont feel i have anything to say...but I do come read you...

Anonymous said...

"My sister pulled down her spot on 360 in true dramatic fashion. Our relationship isn't the same. I don't know when or if it ever will be, but it seems like this new situation has allowed her to quit trying to be a normal human being. It's just lovely. My favorite part about the entire situation, is that she's still stuck on herself, and has not even started looking at what the impact of her behavior was on me and my daughter. Until that happens"....really? Its funny that you choose Dana's blog to shit talk me....Whatever

Anonymous said...

And I find it hilarious that you said you were done with the whole blog thing and yet here you are...

I'm sorry Dana, this is why I can't come here.

Dana Dane said...

so because i said what i did i have to justify and apologize to you...read this blog...not between the lines...just read it, i said I will post just I don't know when...did I say I was quitting...NO! there are no fuckin lines to read between...i said I didn't know what to write...aneeeeee way i really don't care obviously you came here and read it...don't apologize I never do for what I write!
Writing is who you are...no matter who likes it.

Chops said...

I don't have HBO so I can't see the movie. Maybe they will release it on DVD. I have read the book though, and that was heart-wrenching. I wonder how closely the movie resembles it?