There is something i am having a hard time dealing with.
There are probably no words of advice to give but I would like to express it my thoughts about it anyway. For those of you who know me from Yahoo 360, you know my family had a tragedy back in November when my step-dad passed away.
It was really hard for me to deal with because I never had to deal with anything like that. Not that closely anyway. But i struggled and wondered if it was harder for me to deal with his death or whether it was harder for me to deal with the fact that my little brothers and sister lost their father who was a great father to them. He lived for his children and he raised my brother and I, since I was 10 years old. He always, always included me in the count of his kids. He never said I have this many kids and 2 step children, he always considered us his.
The only reason I still say step-dad is because my father is still alive. I love my father and nothing ever changed that.
But I still have my father.
My younger brothers and sister do not. And my youngest sister is age 12, she was 11 when he passed away. It was all of a sudden and a massive heart attack.
This is what bothers me.
My little sister, his baby girl, once told my mom. "He is still on my messenger, but I can't delete it because maybe wherever he is he will find a computer or maybe he will be able to type on it like that guy on that movie Ghost. Then II can still talk to him."
MY mom said nothing, she walked to her room and cried.
When she told me that, I cried.
Then the other day I was cleaning out my messenger box and at the bottom I have people who use MSN messenger, which he used. And at the bottom I seen his smiley face icon on messenger.
So I was like....now what do I do?
I can't delete him.
I just can't.