Friday, February 2, 2007

Inner Strength

JAN 25 • When I read your 12/30 column, I was not sure how to take what you said. But you write well & I have continued to read it. The 1/7 column & today's show that you are a strong, intelligent, proud Lakota. Would that more were like you! The nation would be in a much better place. How did you learn that inner strength? Who taught you? Does anyone teach the children of today? Perhaps you will.

That was a comment on the paper's website the other day about my Martin Luther King got me thinking....
Where do I get my inner strength?
First off, it surprises me when people think of me as a strong person. I know in my heart that I am, but I feel it doesn't show through...or shine. Yes I think shine sounds better for inner strength.
Is it something you are born with?
Is it something acquired from a hard life, because to be honest my life wasn't that hard....until I took on the role of "single mom."
So did I find my inner strength from that role? Or did it come one day in a dream.
I don't even know what inner strength is...but I do know this is who I am:
~I am honest when I write...with myself especially because why lie?
~I write what I feel at that moment....and from the heart.
~If I feel a need to write about something I see right or wrong I will.
~Even though I am a proud person, I do walk with my head down....I like to watch my feet where I walk and I don't believe all that hoopla about having to walk with your head held high...I still have self esteem, which took me years to find but I acquired my style when I walk and I am sticking with it.
~I have children, if I don't show them how to be in this life who will? God knows we have enough youth in this world that have no direction and end up on a statistic sheet in some government office gathering dust and proving that funding needs to go somewhere, just because of that sheet of paper, gathering dust in the office of some pot bellied guy who could give a rat's ass about that youth that is a statistic on his desk.
I don't know exactly what inner strength is...other than a need.
I need it for me, my children and my people.
I don't know if I ever really found it, I think it found me as a need to be who I am today.
I totally didn't make sense, did I?


Alissa said...

That was crystal clear. I think inner strength is something that you have, and flex when needed like a muscle. In your easy childhood wearing $80 jeans, you probably didn't flex it as much, but as you took on the role of battered wife then single mother, you flexed it, worked it, and got that muscle so well defined, people can see it whether you flex it or not. Now people are drawn to you, it's attractive. People wonder, "How can I find, flex and define my inner strength like Dana?" So feel lucky, that it didn't feel like work for you, because some people struggle to get a backbone their entire lives, and die wishing they hadn't been the family doormat. I think the fact that this has all come natural to you, makes you that much more extraordinary...

I'm gonna stop now, or I'm going to end up writing sonnets and love songs about you and that's just weird...

Dana L said...

You are so much more open and honest here on blogger...I feel like this is a secret society...where we can be honest. Now you have me wondering with the way you have been commenting if you are really taking nursing classes and not psych? Are you going all Dr. Phil on me Liss? Anyway my blog on 360 got away from me, I love being fluffy but Ihate the fact that I can't blog for real over there without being judged so much. I heart my blogspot I really do for the reason I can be me.
~Dana (leaving before I write a love poem to you too)

Alissa said...

It's easier to be open and honest here, when 16 people haven't already professed their undying love for you. At 360, by the time I get there, all the good shits been said, and I'd just be a broken record and come off as unoriginal. So I'm left with off the wall comments, and sarcasm.

Here, it feels like it's just you and me, and sometimes a guy named John, so I can tell you what I really want, with out it seeming like joining into the chorus of everyone loves Dana, even though they really do. So, although, I really, really, really miss you at 360, I've kinda enjoyed feelin' like I got you to myself. *Now that sounded creepy*

*makes an exit before sending an e-valentine and virtual chocolates*

Dana L said...

yeah,where is that John anyway....? lol...*looks under bed*

JohnB said...

Hey! I'm still here of course, I swear a week's gone by in the blink of an eye...well inner strength you say, hmmm.
I have always thought we are who we are regardless of where we grew up, who our parents were, how we appear to others...there's no changing us at the core, we cannot be stopped through coercion, torture, bribery...we will always make decisions the same way regardless of the test at hand. Inner Strength? I say you are are either born with it or not (it may take some hard lessons to find, or not)...if you do have it, the question is, will you use it?

I think you do Dana...I mean, you've made it this far, haven't you?

Missy A said...

I am here too you know takes me a while sometimes but I am here
You do have strengh more than you know
I know you have the strengh to stand up and say F**k You I know you do

please read this it's for you

Anonymous said...

Dana I don't know what has happened but I know that you are one of the best on 360..I hope you will come back with your friends..I for one would miss you so are the nicest person to me on are my friend..please don't quit..your friend Jeepers

BabyGirl said...

okay i have no idea where i get mine either...I have to agree with what ALissa said...when you have gone through as much as you have and I have...and you are a single parent...YOU BETTER find your inner biggest motivation was NOT making my ex hubby right about how he felt about me...I struggle and stumble but my boys dont go with out at least food and dont have time to be down, my boys dont have time for me to be down and depressed, they NEED me to doing what I am suppose to do. I have my close the door, lock it....and ball for about an hour moments...but we all have to decompress....i was told one time by a pyschic that my past lives were with me and that is why in the middle of chaos im calm...

NOW what happened to you on 360? Did someone piss you off...