play this and read on. (my new theme song, at least for today)
Something hit the side of my bed. I sucked in my breath and opened my eyes, I hate being woken up and it scared the crap out of me.
There was a flashlight in my face, I couldn't see anything.
Get dressed and come with me. -A harsh whisper.
Why? -I whisper back, what the fuck was this shit?
Just get dressed and come with me- harsh whisper again.
I was kind of scared, because I was thinking of stupid movies like Sleepers and shit where the guard have their way with inmates. But then again there was no way, out of all the bitches here I was gonna make some guards lust list. Not with all these bitches that got real time.
I get dressed warmly cuz it's winter and chances are, I was going to a different building, plus as I woke up, I really woke up and realized I was probably going to pee in a cup.
Fuck.
This is such bullshit. I thought. I know plenty of chicks that snort wellbutrins, but I am not one of them. Shit I didn't even snort shit on the outs. WHAT THE FUCK!! I was pissed as I trudged through the snow in the middle of the night. I glared at the snow, because it had the nerve to sparkle inside the prison compound.
Sure enough, I get there and 4 other random chicks are waiting, all pissed off, swollen eyes.
They give us the schpeel, 2 hours to piss or we go to the SHU, which in Hollywood terms is "the hole."
One girl wants to go first because she has work at 5 am.
The next chick comeout, she couldn't pee, got nervous and I think she crapped she was apologizing and saying something about the chili for lunch.
The next chick also couldn't go, she got nervous.
I went, I could pee in the middle of the night, I knew I could.
I follow the female guard into the bathroom, I've done this before for drug tests.
No big deal.
I get in the stall.
Undress.-she orders.
What?
I said take everything off-she commands
Are you serious? I ask
YES
I have done this before, but not when I was awoken at 2am.
BITCH BITCH BITCH FUCKING WHORE -my mind screams at her as she watched me take every stitch off.
She has me do the drill, which I know. Even the bend over and spread em routine which is the most humiliating thing in the whole fucking universe, just to remind you that you have no dignity, no control, and that you are scum, scraped off the scum stuck on the bottom of a scum bucket.
After I do the drill, she says I have to pee naked.
Ok- I nod, thinking what the fuck. She watches me take the cup and plop down. I want to cry, but I put myself here.
I can't pee.
C'mon bladder, fucking produce so this bitch will quit looking at me- I beg my bladder.
I'm still holding in tears.
Fucking bladder, I look up and she's looking at me holding a cup on the toilet in my birthday suit.
Stupid rotten fucking whore, I scream at her within the confines of the gray matter.
Then I quit screaming at her in my mind and think of peeing. I think about it so hard that I can feel the urge, then finally I go. I'm so nervous I go, like all over the cup. But I don't give a fuck, I peed. Right?
I give her the cup.
Disgusting-she says
Yeah thank you slutbucket-I answer within myself.
Get dressed and follow me out.
I wash my hands and get dressed.
She bitches to the dude guards about how disgusting I am to pee all over the cup, I was never good at positioning that right anyways, I don't give a fuck, fuck her. She's the one that will still be here after I walk out these doors. This is her fucking life looking up scumbuckets asses, all for a pension. I hoped my pee spilled all over her. Fucker.
My drug test cleared, I was told to go back to my unit and go to bed.
Fuck this place, I thought on the walk back. Anyone who had the nerve to think we was living it up off their tax money needs to let the feds control their lives for one hour and see how they like it.
Yeah I know we all "deserved" it, but it's no fucking Disneyworld.
It's no country club, and it certainly wasn't a vacation.
Even if the fucking snow has the nerve to sparkle. I kicked at the sparkling snow as I was sent back inside, in the still of the winter night.
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