Ok....I need to explain what I am doing...other than obsessively blogging again. This one is about recent events because if I don't blog them I will go crazy.
I wrote my first article....on the library events and happenings...Whoopdee DO! I also have to interview the head librarian, who is very nice and new to this part of the country. The ladies who are in charge of making sure I write and stuff didn't show up on time today and the other one sent me home. Now they say they need me to write on front of them to make sure I am doing it instead of doing it from home, which I did...because she wasn't there. I thought that the fact that they see it in the paper, they would know I am being a good girl and doing as they say.
Because I was laid off this year I am in a stupid...STUPID program, because there are no jobs here...or there are just that everyone in this friggin town and their sister has to have 2 or three jobs and then bitch about how hard they work, how tired they are.. So I have to put in hours for writing and at the library. Which is awesome because HELLO dream come true. I don't care if I write obits. Actually I would like to write obits. I had fun when I wrote my own and one time in Chemistry class the teacher made me write about some boring chemist...a short bio. This man's life was soooo boring I took a chance and made his life exciting. Well my teacher knew the whole paper was total bullshit but he gave me an A because I was very entertaining. At least the editor of the paper said I can stay on after this program is over.
So anyway these people that I jump through hoops for, who gave me employment classes and told me things that I already knew until I almost puked, these people now want me to write for the newspaper under a "work experience" program. I am also filling in the rest of my hours at the library under this program. I feel like a Friggin Tard when they talk to me, because they talk to me like I am 6 years old.
Sappy voice "Are you excited about starting your work experience?" smiling with that fukkin saccharine coated smile they train flight attendants and waitresses to have. No offense to any of those occupations..I love waitresssing and if I ever went to your table and asked you just as you opened your mouth and stuffed "How is everything?" I am soo sorry but the boss was watching and I hated the uncomfortable silence of you trying to swallow your food so you can choke and say ok.
I was also that cashier at Wal-Mart you got pissed at because the freakin dog pillow you was buying for your dog for Christmas was supposed to cost $28.88 and instead it rang up like $32.48 and I had no control over it, but your husband and kids hated me for it. I looked at that pillow and wished you was buying it for me and not your dog, while we was waiting for the guy who could fix everything to come and fix the lower price. I wanted it because it looked so soft and was by far better than any pillow I had in my life.
I am the single mom who was in front of you in line at the grocery store and took forever because of my EBT card and I caused you to look at your watch, slap your kid and SIGH like the world was ending.
I am the housekeeper that cleaned up the room you and your friends trashed just for the hell of it. I cleaned the pizza that was everywhere and picked all the beer cans up. I even cleaned whatever the fukk you guys did to that toilet, stuff that nobody should do. This job gave me a sense of accomplishment because I finished something everyday. As you was trashing that room, I bet you never thought once it would take someone over an hour to clean it because she had babies to feed. Nope, everybody looks down on a housekeeper and that was one of my favorite jobs.
I was a cashier, housekeeper, bartender, waitress, factory worker (you don't want to hear about that job!)retail sales, front desk clerk. Once in a great while I will luck out and get a "desk job."
I am thankful for the opportunity I have right now with the paper and love being in the quiet of the library even if the other librarians hate me, peer over my shoulder, can't hear the phone ring, whatever...I will sneak up on one of their jobs.
I just get pissed at society....people making fun of people who they consider"beneath them." As long as someone is happy with what they do...as long as their proud of their job, that is all that should matter. Lord knows I know enough people that make 6 figures a year and are unhappy as hell. (Not personally...lol)
I am sick of society's views....sick of the government pretending that they are creating all these wonderful programs that will help the poor, thats all bullshit. They keep the poor, poor. I fight these people all the time....they can get after my ass for this or that, yet do nothing about the dads.
One lady told me "Well he can never get a license." She was nodding as if they condemned him to hell. I was like "So, you think that will really stop him from driving or make him work? Throw his ass in jail...do something."
I gave up on child support enforcement.
I hate being looked down on, which the old ladies at the library do, as if I care...at least I SMILE. I hate the government acting as if they are reforming shit when really they never did anything, both parties claiming to do this or do that...screw both parties! They just talk shit when they want your vote. Talk to the electoral college, shit my vote didn't count the last 2 times. I hate these women who are fresh out of college telling me my resume is too long. I hate them telling me how to dress. I hate the whole sytem itself which is why I write to my state senators on a regular basis. I am sure each state senate and congress warns the next that I am coming. I hate the fact that it seems like no matter how much I bitch about the system, nothing changes.
The lady in the Pathways to Employment classes once asked us what we would do if we won a huge lottery. I told her I would create a program for single mothers and poor people to help them. Not keep them poor like the system the government has in place (like hers) but a program to "weed out" the slackers who abuse the shit and give us all a bad name. A program that works on self esteem and don't tear it down by talking to you like your simple-minded. A program that gives you confidence in yourself, that gives you that boost to get your education, to better yourself. Not the bullshit the goverment has with insensitive workers who take every Friday off and make you "beg" for anything. One that don't make you jump through a hundred hoops, just to turn you around and make you start over again.
Ok that was a vent I was not expecting but I get tired of this shit.
I know who I am, I know what I can do.
Tuesday October 17, 2006 - 07:05pm (MDT