Back in the day ...when I was 17, I had a summer love, that went well into the fall...

Does a song ever give you a moment in your life back. I heard this the other day and it reminded me of those carefree days when my boyfriend went to the rival high school. Our biggest worry back in those days was who had a better school.

The days when we rode his motorcycle until my legs were numb from the cold, the days of him picking me up at the high school and having dinner with his mom and the days when we rode in his pick up with the windows down singing to the radio. The days when cruising was everything and sex was quick, hurried, forbidden....and the best.

We had no fear of the future, and the utmost confidence that everything would be alright. We had been holding hands since headstart, saying we would marry, even at age four, I knew he would be my husband. He was the most easygoing boy and I knew we would marry. I had no doubt about it.

Then we broke apart, went our own ways.

We always meant to talk things over but we found others in jealous fury...all the while still talking, because we still loved each other.

We promised to talk...

Then one morning I woke up and heard, he shot and killed himself the night before at age 17.

I wondered where those days of cruising and singing along went.