Guilty

*pic by my sis and beadwork by me
When I write of life on the reservation, I am not trying to make anyone "feel" guilty.
Everytime you pay taxes, I don't want you to think "Oh those poor indians, there they go taking my money because we screwed them over."
I don't want your pity because those East Coast tribes had bad immigration policies and because gold was found in them thar hills.
We got screwed. We live almost as if we are occupied but we gave up that fight so long ago and accepted being occupied after battling a losing war.
so our land was taken, infested and is gone.
The reason you might feel guilty about it is maybe because you have seen the conditions that we live in and somewhere in your hardened heart or your DNA it made you feel guilty...the same way that in some corner of my heart or in my DNA it still fires me up to know what happened here before my time. Maybe you don't want to know that you feel guilty so you lash out in anger and say hurtful things. Because if you grew up on the reservation, would you move away, forget your people and who you are? I know you didn't make that shady deal that took our people's land.
I tried to move away...all it did was make me want to come home more.
I write of life here, conditions because I think WE have the power to better it, not by asking the government who sends out millions in foriegn aid, I am sure there are other countries out there who "feel" us more than this one.
I don't want anyone to feel guilty for the fact that I live in low income housing, even if I lived in the same type off the reservation.
I'm sorry you pay taxes so I can live here, where I was born and raised.
I pay taxes and I feel guilty too.