The reason I have to talk about 360 AGAIN is I hear people are talking about what i did before I left and crap. I admit, I am not a saint....but I also had no idea there were certain rules on 360. Thank God I left.
Don't get me wrong 360 is a wonderful place4 with great writers but the blogging society there is quick to judge and trash-talk.
I have to admit when I sign onto the internet it's really hard for me to not automatically sign into Yahoo. I have to change my homepage to Google, so I won't be trying to do that anymore. I even changed my primary email to Gmail. I still accidentally sign my Yahoo password onto here or Myspace. I made the choice to leave 360 and I didn't do it for attention.
DESPITE what anyone says.
Even though all that bullshit started with Cuan at the beginning of the year, I was thinking hard about leaving 360 before that. I was getting tired of people telling me who said what about me and blah blah blah.
Then it was getting clickish. Well it was clickish LONG time ago, and I admit I wanted to be cool. I joined in the bullshit. Changing avatars to please the crowd, making blogs that went with the theme. It was a way of expressing my creative streak but it led me from my writing. Which was really f*cked because then there was people that read my writing and there was people that read my blogs that kissed the clique's ass.
Which is why I wanted to leave 360 B/C...before cuan.
When he made a point about one of my blogs in a deragatory way, I admit. I cried. I vented through blogs, I was pissed, I had wonderful people come to my defense. People I still miss so dearly. I was hurt, plain and simple.
After that I had somewhat of a writer's block. I opened my blogspot and myspace, I already had but I fixed it up. I just couldn't leave 360 though. As luck would have it my old 360 page would close up on me, I couldn't read other comments and instead of contacting Yahoo I just created a new one.
But it wasn't the same. I no longer spent as much time on Yahoo. What a blessing in disguise. I no longer went around to read what was going on in everyone's life. And I didn't feel guilty if I didn't read someone's blog.
I was sick....I know.
I made the decision over two weeks ago I would leave 360. I was going to leave my blog up but I only left the first one up. I told one person I was leaving. He was my closest friend and all his recent drama with 360 made it worse for me. The fact that soemone stole his family pics freaked me out. He kept having to make new pages, I think he is on his 4th. I miss him like crazy and I know he is mad at me but I can't change that.
Before I left I had something to say to one person and I did. We talked via comments and on his blog. It was the Howard Stern wannabe...Cuan. I had alot to say to him. I messaged him. He sent me an invite so we can talk and not message and we talked. There was only one other person there. (Doug) So it wasn't like we talked for people's sake. He admitted alot of things in message form and on his blog to me. He admitted he was wrong Especially when I told him his blog about Don Imus, well what I thought about it. That I thought that the most hurtful form of racism was the people who said they weren't racist but yet made little, deragatory remarks like Imus did, like he did. Especially from people that don't know who you are. I had a good talk with him. I still think he acts like a 7th grader, but I made amends and I don't hate him.....anymore. And then I left 360.
Apparently he did an apology blog to me, which I never seen. Because he deleted it, of course. And of course nobody would tell me if someone was apologizing to me, only when they talk shit about you do people tell you....even go out of their way to tell you, that's how it is on 360. i admit many people came to my defense but the same amount or more thought I was attacked because I wanted attention.
Now I hear via grapevine people are talking about me and Cuan. Let me just say this here and now. When we talked it wasn't planned. It wasn't for attention, I basically showed up unannounced and if people were lurking I have no idea. I didn't do it to piss anyone off and I am not a traitor. (as if)
I am just sick of hating people.
I am sick of being judged.
I am sick of drama.
I am sick of the do's and don't of blogging.
I am sick of who I should and shouldn't have on my friends list.
Because I am like....35 years old and I don't conform to blog society like it's middle school. (anymore)
It was just easier to close.
So that was the tale of the death of my 360 blog.
Thus the birth of my blog here.
For the readers of my column of blogspot peeps, you really didn't have to read this LOL. Sorry lol.