Saturday, April 28, 2007

I'm home

How come you moved back?
Are you leaving again?
I can't wait to leave.
I have to leave here, there is nothing for me here.
If I stay here I will die early.
I hate it here, why did you come back?

I hear that all the time. And I try to explain why I came back to the reservation. I didn't come back to try and make a change but if ever I do that would be nice. I didn't come back to tak about living off the rez, because even though it was fun, it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I came home for one simple reason and it took my 8 year old son to help me find the right way to explain why I came home. Here was our conversation the other day.

My son Stephon told me "Mom the next time we move..." and I cut him off "We ain't moving no more baby."
He looked at me confused, "What? Why? How long we staying here?"
I'm home." I told him.
"But why Pine Ridge?" he asked me.
"Because this is where I am from, I was born here."
"But I was born in Minnesota." he says.
"But this is where your people are from." I told him.
"Which people?" he asks
"Your relatives, your ancestors...this is where you come from."
"What are ancestors?"
"They are the people that lived here long before either of us were born."
"So they always lived in Pine Ridge?" he asked.
"Um, no they traveled around and followed the buffalo for food." I told him
"So why do I have to stay here now?" he asked
"Because I came home, there's no place else I would rather be right now."
"So when I grow up, if I move away, will you always be here?"
"So if I miss you, can I always come home?" he looks at me smiling like he is finally getting it.
"Exactly." I tell him, smile and continue beading.

I am home. I came home for them. And I will always be here.

*pic i took last summer of some chokecherries outside my grandma's house.


Josie said...

Beautiful!... and yes it's just that is home. Isn't it funny that in our youth we can't wait to escape where we are from, and then as years pass we find ourselves wanting to return? There really is a heart and soul connection to the place where we belong.

Gina said...

Sometimes you just need to come home.

Missy A said...

Home doesn't need to be a place a house a solid thing, home can be and is a feeling
Don't mind me though I feel most "at home" in my car

Jeepers said...

that's a really beautiful story..I've never left my home..but I am often told that I need to leave here and see the world...but I feel like I have all I need here..there isn't any need for me to see anything else..and like Missy..I feel at home more somewhere's else..I always say I feel at home on the coast of NC..most beautiful place I have ever seen and that never changes

JohnB said...

although...some of us were born wanderers/

btw, your pictures are amazing!

Dana Dane said...

omg...thanks sis is the photobug I just like shooting by the sunset lol
Jeepers I would love to see it someday
Missy i seen your car and I believe you
Gina---how true is that...for real.
Josie-you know what I mean you are in the same boat....that boat that sails away yet has home in the heart...always.

Alissa said...

That is awesome. I don't know that I will ever leave home. I like to vacation, but being gone for a week is long enough. I talk about leaving this bubble that we call salt lake, but the truth is, as much as I hate it here, it still is home, and I hate the idea of leaving my family and trying to start over somewhere else alone...