Saturday, October 13, 2007

American or Anti---either way.

How do you find that balance between being a Lakota and an American? Many other tribes have lost their identity and don't realize there is a dinstinction.
There is.
To me, anyway.
I know everyone thinks...oh this is the melting pot. We are all American. But what those people don't understand is that there is a difference.
It doesn't mean I am anti-American. I am a proud American, but first I am Lakota.
This guy I know told me stop the blame and name game.. he wasn't talking to me particularly. He was talking about indians. He meant we have to quit blaming the whiteman for our lives being hard and shit.
I don't blame the whiteman anymore than I blame myself or ourselves.
We are a poor people living in poor conditions.
Once we stop living off the government like a nursing baby, we can better ourselves.
I just don't see it happening.
We are a nation, given this dried up land to live on by the government that controls us like slaves.
I can relate to Palenstine...but we don't fight like them anymore. We just sit home and get lease checks from ranchers who have their cows on our land.
We wait for aid on the first of the month. We wait for commodities every month. Food sent to us that is the cause for diabetes.
It feels like a never ending cycle of bullshit that I am sick of.
They say God helps those who helps themselves. How will that ever happen when the government keeps you poor and you let them.
I am a proud Lakota and love being Lakota, but i am sick of this lifestyle and I haven't been back for a year yet.
Am I a proud American? I think so. But in a different way than most everyone else. i am proud to be from a land that has so much freedom, but I don't stand and wave the flag at a parade with other people cheering on soldiers who are killing civilians in their own land for a war I don't believe in. That is all too familar sounding, if you know what I mean. I am not the typical American. I am Lakota first.
I have many white friends too and I don't blame them for this life. I do blame the government and myself and my people.
We are our own nation...which is bullshit. We are a nation in distress.
Which is the meaning of the upside down flag.
So don't call me anti-American until you've danced in my mocassins.


Alissa said...

May I borrow your shoes?

I love this post, and just about every other post you write, so sure, and full of passion. I love this about you, and am glad to see posts like this again. Quit leaving or breaking, or pausing, or what ever, it's too hard on my psyche...

Josie Two Shoes said...

I totally agree with what you say here. What will you do to start changing it?

Daisy said...

I love your viewpoint. I definitely think you can be both Lakota and American, simultaneously loving and being frustrated with both cultures. It's difficult to hope for change while knowing it's practically impossible given the circumstances. Though you may not be able to change an entire nation of people on your own, you can teach your children and they can teach theirs...

Deana said...

I was visiting from Rising Blogger and I loved this post. I agree with you. My great grandmother was a Cherokee, she passed before my time, and the only thing we have from that is people saying.."Oh that is where your family got the high cheek bones." I always wondered about her story. Did she even want to be with my great grandfather? It is apparent that none of her customs were allowed to live on because none of us know any of them. Her culture in her world was wiped out...she had to become the typical American living on a little farm in Virginia and that has always made me sad for some reason. You should be able to celebrate both cultures and not "melt" into anything. And I agree that your Lakota heritage comes first.

Ingrid said...

I found your blog thanks to Josie two shoes. This was such a wonderfully honest post. Thank you for that.

Although our circumstances are very different, in a way I can relate to you.

Mary said...

This is my first visit to your blog. I connected through "Josie Two Shoes" site. I'm really, really new to blogging and am just learning the ropes (so to speak). You caught my attention because I'm one quarter Lakota, one quarter Cree, and the rest white mongrel. I was raised far away from my Native American heritage; however, I've always felt a connection. I seems to come from the subconcious at times. It's something I don't speak about often because people look at me like I'm crazy - and maybe they are correct. I hope you continue to write; I will continue to visit your blog.