Thursday, May 3, 2007

When I was in high school...

I fell in love right off with this guy named Bruce. He was my first boyfriend....and my second and so on...we were on and off.
High school sweethearts.
He was a fancy dancer, which if you don't know...is a competition dancer for our native pow wows.
We went our seperate ways when I was 17 and he was 18. Soon after I found out I was pregnant with his baby. It was summertime and he was hitting the pow wow trail, so even when I did work up the courage to tell him, he would be out of town. I miscarried at 8 weeks and never told a soul until I was older. I actually did write a story about being a teenager and suffering through a miscarriage but I never submitted it to Seventeen magazine like I wanted to. I felt guilty and still do because I was scared and didn't want the baby. So I blamed myself for years for the miscarriage...and still do somewhat, even though it was probably for the better.
I pushed him in my past and tried to move on, though I always thought of him.
I heard he got married and had a bunch of kids, so that was that.
Over the years and through my 11 year past relationship, I used to wonder what it would be like if I ended up with him. I knew it was impossible, but I was still human, still just a girl with dreams...even though I thought I was doomed to an unhappy relationship for the rest of my life.
I found him on classmates.com and we communicated through there...but if any of you have ever been there, you can't communicate on classmates.com. You can only send HI's and such. You can't even send a message. So in my profile I wrote a real cryptic email address. I wrote it as danadotlonehillatgmaildotcom. I was hoping he would see it. I also googled him and found he was with a drum group called The Crazy Horse Singers. I know I am a stalker haha. But nothing ever came of it, anyway.
Awhile back I opened my email to find an email from him and it started a flood of email between us, until finally just phone calls. I found out he never did get married, like me.
He found out about the pregnancy and says he wished he would have known.
We talked for hours just like when we was in high school. I asked him how he came to find my email address.
He said his mom told him to look for a happy ad in the newspaper. She swore someone sent him a happy ad. He said he looked and looked but never saw the happy ad. But he saw my column, and got on a computer and went to classmates.com and seen my cryptic email address.
And that was that.
I wonder now if there really was a happy ad. lol
To make a long story short, things took a serious turn last week and yes, thanks to my auntie's comment yesterday I guess the cat is out of the bag.
I'm getting married tomorrow to the boy with one green eye and one blue eye. To my first love. And I can't stop smiling. It feels so good to let this out finally.
When I told my aunt she asked me "How long have you known him?"
"Forever." I said.

25 comments:

JohnB said...

Congratulations Dana!

Josie said...

OMG Dana, what a wonderful story...it just warms the heart! I am SO VERY HAPPY FOR YOU!!! May you be blessed with many awesome years...together now at last! We're gonna want pictures, you know that! :-) I bet you're walking about ten feet off the ground right now - and you so deserve this happiness! CONGRATS, lovely lady, he's getting The Best!

Josie said...

And LOL to your auntie's boldness... I hope you didn't kill her! :-) See what happens when you ask for comments?!! ROFL

Dana Dane said...

i know i know.....she's a nerd...she did that as soon as i got off the phone with her...
and thanks again you guys

Dorid said...

OMG! CONGRATS!

this is SO COOL!!!!

photos...lots of photos!

Missy A said...

I knew it you are crazy.. I knew just knew it

Dana Dane said...

thanks

Lynn said...

DANA!!!
I'm so happy for you!! I wondered where you were and what was going on!!!

Okay ... I need to send you a wedding gift now!!!

I love you and I'm SO happy for you!

Lynn

Alissa said...

Holy shit! If I wasn't getting on a plane Saturday morning, I'd invite myself to your wedding! Now, you totally left THIS detail out of that email. I'm excited for you. Now, we have sent him through the check list right?

Gay?
Momma's boy?
Unemployed?
Loser?
Cry-baby?
Mooch?

Am I missing something? If you answered all of the above as a NO than you have my blessing...[[big hugs]]

Dana Dane said...

of course all of the above are no's...lol
thanks and dammit i missed your call

Dana's Auntie said...

You're not getting a blender now because you called me a nerd. Maybe Lynn can get you one.

Lynn, she wants a blender!!!!!!!

Called me a nerd...geez!!

Lauri said...

Dana - I am VERY happy for you! Congratulations. I wish you the best.

Dana Dane said...

what's wrong with being a nerd...I'm a nerd
I don't care what Lynn get's me as long as it's not Jimmy Carter's nuts because I when fed-ex rushed up to my door with Jimmy Carter's nuts I had to cook them to eat them!

Dana Dane said...

oh and thanks Lauri

Alissa said...

You did miss my call. I was all prepared to freak out with you over the phone and I got no answer. Not even a damn machine! WTF?!?!?!?! Congrats, sugar! Does this mean I'll see you in Cancun for your honey moon?

Missy A said...

My initial reaction -- WTF!
bit more composed now
I am happy for you I really am

still think you are a little crazy though and as long as he doesn't have his hands on his arse he should be ok as Allisa says you go through that checklist !

Donnak said...

Awww Dana, this is GREAT! Congratulations! :)

Anonymous said...

what the hell is wrong with you youre gettin married on my goddamn bday lol cha man im turning 14 today and i had no clue that u were gettin married. jaida told me a lil while ago and i thought she was lying. but i knew that you talked to him all the time but thats perty cool. oh and this is jenna

Dana Dane said...

its your birthday prezzy lil sister

Wild Oglala said...

just who is this mysterious stranger with different eyes?

Dee said...

Dana, I am soo happy for you, and wish you both the best! I also reconected with an old flame from classmates.com. That place is the best...

Jeepers said...

Congrats Dana..I wish I had been able to have read this earlier...I am so happy for you

Gina said...

Wow, Dana, Josie had mentioned this and I have been meaning to read your blog about this....
Congratulations to you and Bruce.
You just never know the end from the beginning, do you. I wish you both all of the happiness in heaven. "Perfect Love casts out all fear...". 1 John 4:8

Daisy said...

Just so you know, I believe in spontaneous love, though your and Bruce's doesn't seem that spontaneous. I also believe that sometimes people are just meant to be. I would've married Mr. D 2 days after I met him, though we waited almost 2 years. Congrats, Sister Dana! You have an amazing future ahead of you!

Janet H said...

Dana! I know I've flaked recently -- lots of shit going on for me, but you're not supposed to go and freakin' get married just like that! You make me feel even worse for not having been around in so damn long! Don't you care about my feelings at all!?!?

That said, wow. Congratulations! That is so fantastic! I'm moving slowly forward in your blog to find the more recent posts, but I couldn't start commenting until I'd gone back far enough to really know what was going on. Wow. Again. Wow. I'm so happy for you!